Monday Muses

Waiting…

I go and take my seat and wait.

As the seconds drown into minutes

 I stare at the door and sigh,

Staring aimlessly at the door

And it slowly fades away from me

Spiraling away until it is out out of my line of vision.

Waiting…

When will you come?

When will you fulfill the promises you made?

When will you learn to fill the shoes you have?

I know your family is a wreck and everyone is counting on you to brace yourself for the strong winds you are facing.

But when will you realize that you’re so young and you have a life to look foreward to?

When will you turn around and see I’m here for you?

When will you notice that everyone feels for you through your pain and we can see under that smile you are slowly suffering and it is slowly overpowering you?

Waiting…

The door comes back out of the darkness and I slowly wake out of my daze.

Maybe I’ll never see you again.

Maybe I’ll never see you again because fate wants to have its way.
I remember your cousin told me

“If you have dreams about each other, you’ll end up that way in the future”.

What a pitiful lie…

To think that for the both of us to be together and everything going fine that nothing would ruin us.

To think that anything would knock us off course, I thought nothing could keep us apart.

Then came the evil time that ripped us apart…

First it was distance which was okay knowing you could text me and we could still see each other. Then you stopped responding. I would send a text and hearing it buss because of it vibrations hitting the table and the ringtone of

“Daddy why did you eat my fries?”

I would be so happy I would run to my phone hoping I could get a taste of the other side.

Just to hear your voice would help me through.

But everytime it wasn’t you, my heart would falter and die every time.

Then curiosity slowly crept in…

Maybe you met someone?

Maybe she was better than me and I slowly crept out of your mind.

Maybe I barely existed to you.

So now, I can’t wait anymore.

I need to get on with my life.

I need to get over you and forget.

Just having what we used to be as a spell and a curse

Both haunting and endearing at the same time.

Maybe fate will have its way and we will find our way back to each other…

But till then, I have to let go.

I can’t hold onto to our love forever.

And maybe now and then you will remember me.

And you will smile and have no pain hiding under the surface.

I can no longer…

Wait.